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Black Hills Secrets Page 20
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“You didn’t know about me.” Blake couldn’t make it a question. It was clear that Travis knew nothing about the boy who had been left without a father. Travis looked him in the eye again, his muscles hardening.
“If I had I would have fought for you. I’m sorry that she never told me.” Blake believed Travis and understood the ferocity that he used to protect his family. Blake knew that he would do the same for any child of his own. He prayed someday it would happen for him.
“I think I might have preferred that to living with an alcoholic mother and her sleazy, drug-using boyfriends.” Blake growled, turning his sight inwardly. It had been tough being a child in the time he grew up. Without Tanner and his grandmother, Lord knows where he would have ended up.
“Take a walk with me?” Travis leaned back from the truck and took a couple of steps, waiting for Blake to follow. One foot in front of the other and Blake followed Travis out behind the house to a creek that ran peacefully by. Pine trees provided a beautiful wind break and some cottonwood trees intermingled.
“If you look out over the flat to the hill, just beyond is a couple of pine trees. They grew up and arced over each other to create a cross, hence the name Crossing Pines Ranch. Sometimes I like to stand here and listen to the water burbling over rocks and rushing against the grass. Every once in a while you can hear a meadowlark’s trilling and at night, a few coyotes howl.” Travis looked out over the lengthy grass that was bowed by the wind today. Blake could hear pride and belonging in the older man’s voice. He could feel the workings of peace crowding around the perimeter of his heart.
“It’s a far cry from everything I’ve known.” Blake said quietly, his eyes still focusing on the hill where the crossing pine trees were. He wanted to see them. He hoped Travis would take him there someday.
“You have a chance to know it now.” Travis took a deep breath and turned squarely to Blake. “I can’t change the past and what’s done is done. But I can offer you a future here with your family if you want it.”
Your family.
The words resonated in Blake’s head as he stared at the man who was offering him everything. He was offering a home, people who cared, and peace. Blake turned back out toward the grass and exhaled loudly, courage failing.
“I’m a broken man and I don’t know how to be a son. I’ve spent years wishing for a family and I’d only ever had my best friend—my brother to hold onto.” Blake sniffed as the traitorous tears slipped one by one down his cheek. “I can’t replace him.” Blake kept his chin high and his gaze forward. His chest was heaving with every intake of breath. Travis was listening, his head cocked to the side.
“Not all broken things are broken forever, Blake. We aren’t going to replace your friend. We are going to remember him while we build a future together. You may not know how to be a son, but I’ve had plenty of practice at being a father. Trust me to look out for you. Trust me to know that this family will love you.” Travis reached over to put his hand on Blake’s shoulder. It was a fatherly gesture and this was his father.
“I’m not sure what to say.” Blake’s tear-roughened voice spoke. Travis nodded slowly, but didn’t remove his hand.
“Healing now, answers later.” Travis gave him a squeeze and stepped back. “Do you want to come inside for some lunch? I’m on my own today. Lacey is helping out with the new baby.”
Blake looked out at the scenic view for a few more heart beats before knowing what he wanted to do. He turned and looked at Travis. Nodding with a smile, Blake followed the pathway back up to the house.
Blake stuck his key in the lock of the rental house and turned the bar. He pushed it open and walked into the soft natural light from the windows. He plunked his keys down on the kitchen table along with his cell phone and wallet. Taking a deep breath, he let the weight and emotion of the day sink in. First thing this morning he had been blind-sided by his nightmares coming to life and touching someone very dear to him. Bailey didn’t look at him any differently but it scared him to think that he could do something like that without remembering it. What happened when he didn’t know who she was one night and something bad happened? He would never be able to forgive himself and forgiveness would be the least of his issues. Forgiveness wasn’t something he was well versed in anyway.
Blake walked to the bedroom where he started to strip off his clothing. He wanted to shower and put on clean clothes before going back over to Bailey’s. He looked around the borrowed bed wondering what it would be like to have a place he belonged. It was a myth, a fantasy that he had cuddled when he was young. As he got older he thought that it was a luxury not everyone could afford and it wasn’t a gift anyone had offered. Tanner’s friendship and phone calls when he was stationed elsewhere were the things that made him sane. The army and his work gave him a purpose and a means to move through day to day. Blake had succumbed to a void at the loss of his friend and his career. The army wasn’t for him anymore and he knew it. It was over. Now finality was starting to sink in and his gut burned.
Pushing his jeans down over his hips and to the floor, Blake stepped out of them and headed for the bathroom. A clean towel perched on the toilet lid, he started the shower where steam soon filled the room. Stepping under the spray, he allowed the water to soothe his skin. Travis’s words filtered through his brain.
You have a chance to know it now. I can’t change the past and what’s done is done. But I can offer you a future here with your family if you want it.
Suddenly that unobtainable dream was right at his fingertips. He knew that a door was opening and finally it felt like the darkness might not win. It was as freeing as it was terrifying. He grabbed the soap and began rubbing it over his body. His skin felt foreign to him as he rinsed the suds the off. Yet another telltale sign that Bailey had claimed him. He felt the stirrings of desire as he thought about her soft body and how she responded to his voice, his touch, and their nonverbal conversation. He could look into those brown eyes and feel the certainty settle the fear and anxiety brewing inside him. Often the pills couldn’t even do that.
Blake turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. He ran a towel over his body and he turned his back to the mirror. He looked over his shoulder to see the red raised scars from the shrapnel he took in the back. The physical pain was nearly gone, but they went far deeper than his flesh. He had turned his back to speak to Tanner when the improvised bomb blew up. He was standing in front of his best friend and it might have saved him had a large, hot piece of metal not sunk into Tanner’s neck. Blake remembered holding pressure to the gushing wound, but it bled mercilessly onto the ground beneath. His brother had died in his arms while Blake was trying to convince them both that help was on its way and the wound was just a scratch.
Taking a deep breath, he hung the towel up on the rack and went in search of his clothes. Sometimes it was easier to hide those wounds beneath clothing where no one could see them. He was surprised that Bailey hadn’t mentioned them, but he had tried not to let her see. It was something he needed to deal with and he hoped the counseling the army required for discharge would do just that. His senses tingled a second before the doorbell rang. Throwing a t-shirt on and jerking on his jeans, Blake zipped and buttoned his pants before opening the door. His heart swelled at the godsend before him.
“Bailey.” Her name was bestowed by angels and he thought she might actually be one.
His guardian angel, maybe?
“I was in town and thought I’d drive by. Wanted to see if you were okay.” Her brown eyes were warm and soft. He would love to curl up in them and stay. He liked the way she saw him, even when he tried so damned hard to hide.
“I got back a little bit ago. I thought a shower and some clean clothes might be in order.” He smiled at her and stepped back to allow her inside. She walked passed him and he inhaled her fruity scent. He really needed to figure out what it was, because it drove him nuts. Suddenly he had a vivid image of Bailey wearing that perfume and only that. H
is pants tightened as desire coiled with intensity.
“I figured you might need a bit to process what Travis had to say. Did it go as you hoped it would?” Bailey looked around the house at the landscape photos on the walls and then settled on the couch. He smiled at her when she looked up at him.
“It went better than I expected. He wants me to call this home and to be a part of his family. He’s opening up a chance for a future I never dared to hope for.” Blake rolled his shoulders forward in uncertainty as she watched him closely. It was almost like she knew what he was going to say.
“You’re worried about the rest of the family.” There it was and it was all true. He didn’t know how they would feel.
“Definitely.” He answered, nodding his head and taking a couple of steps closer. He had enough nervous energy to keep him from sitting though. Bailey pursed her lips and tipped her head as if thinking something over. He loved how cute she was when she was considering the issues.
“Then bring your questions to them.” She smiled at him when he looked confused. “Get them all together and put it in front of them. Let them decide for themselves if they will accept this.” Her eyes widened, mirroring his anxiety and Blake lowered his eyes to the floor. If they couldn’t accept him, he didn’t know what he would do. Suddenly a dream was in his grasp, but if it was jerked away, there was no telling how he would cope with it.
“Can you live your life afraid to take the chance at a real family?” Bailey moved up behind him and he could feel her presence there. She had his back.
“There’s no guarantee that each member will want me to stay.” Blake felt a bit petulant. It was a childish thought and nothing he had ever done had certainty. It was what made the payoff so much sweeter.
“Then you need to show them your true self, Blake. Broken, bruised, but still standing before them. Honor, loyalty, and love makes the Johnson family strong. Appeal to those things and there is no way they will turn you out.” Bailey circled his waist with her arms, leaned into his body, and began pressing her lips to his back. Even through the cotton t-shirt, Blake could feel the heat. The scars came to the forefront of his mind. His heart started beating with force and he stiffened when Bailey lifted his shirt up. Incrementally she kissed each section of skin seeming not to notice how the conversation had stopped and he had stopped breathing. It was paralyzing as she slowly made her way up to his shoulders.
Blake waited for her to speak and ask him what had happened. The raised scars were enough to warrant a whole conversation, but he didn’t feel strong enough suddenly. Still he couldn’t move away. The heat of her tongue praising each bit of his back was mesmerizing. There was no hesitation or fear from the unknown. Bailey was simply there in the moment with him. It was a mission in healing and he wondered if it weren’t just his scars she was absorbing. When she stopped kissing him and lowered his shirt, Blake took a deep breath and turned around slowly. Her big brown eyes drank him in and he thought he saw a glimmer of tears in the depths. One small hand lifted to press against his heart and even that gentle touch was enough to send the organ into a fit.
“I love you.” Bailey’s voice was soft, but direct. There was no doubting the words as he watched her carefully. His ears tried to find something at fault, but they had heard her correctly. He swallowed ineffectively at the lump that had formed and knowing that there was nothing else he could do but show her how he felt. Covering her hand with his left, Blake took the step that separated them, hooked his right hand around her neck and pulled her mouth to his. He sank into her warmth and made certain that she didn’t doubt how he felt.
CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
Bailey woke up with a stiff neck, but there was definitely joy in her heart. They had spent the night talking about hopes and dreams. Blake had ordered pizza and she had found a brownie mix in the cupboard. They had even rented a couple of movies Blake had wanted to see, but wasn’t in the country when they were released to the public. Despite the heavy emotions the last two days had fostered, there was a renewed sense of hope and purpose. Bailey could feel it and she knew Blake was eased of his terrible burden.
“Oh my arm is asleep!” Blake shifted on the couch and adjusted his numb arm that was under her head. Bailey chuckled as she leaned forward and rubbed her neck. Her wince brought Blake’s good hand to her aid. He massaged the kink as best as he could.
“I can’t believe we fell asleep like that. I was watching the movie and all of sudden my eyes closed.” Bailey rubbed her eyes and dug out the sleep from the corners. Blake scooted forward to the edge of the cushion and stretched his legs. She grinned at him when he caught her sneaking peeks at him.
“I never thought you were going to go to sleep. You kept talking through the movie.” Blake teased her and chuckled when she swatted his shoulder. Bailey wrinkled her nose and stood up. Her arms rose of their own accord and she stretched up on her tiptoes. Before she knew it, she was pressed against a hard chest and warm lips were kissing her pulse point at her neck.
“I could get used to this.” Blake whispered hotly near her ear and she shivered with anticipation. Heat immediately flooded her veins and her heart quickened. Her hands splayed against his muscled back and down over his butt. She gave a squeeze when he nipped her neck.
“So could I.” Bailey felt wonderfully out of breath as his hands began to wander over her hips to the fullness of her backside and up her back again. She was just about to start shredding his clothing when her cell phone began to ring. Her head perked up with instant alertness. It was her sister’s ringtone. There was only an occasional telephone call from her sister. Most communication was done by text.
“Blake, I need to get that.” Bailey pushed back from him and ran to the kitchen table. Scooping the phone off and answering the call, she put the device up to her ear. Already she could hear Taryn crying and loud banging coming from the other end of the line. Bailey’s eyes darted to Blake and she saw him move to her side.
“Taryn, what is going on?” Bailey tried to keep the panic from her voice, but it was so damn hard. This was just a nightmare that never ended. Her heart beat hard in her chest.
“He’s home.” Taryn sobbed into the phone and Bailey shut her eyes tightly. Her lip trembled and Blake took her free hand. He was already tugging her to the front door.
“I’m coming. Don’t leave your room until you hear from me.” Bailey almost yelled into the phone as they moved quickly. “Do you still have the baseball bat under your bed?” That had been a failsafe, a last resort, but it made Taryn feel better. The banging got louder and Bailey couldn’t control the shaking.
“Yes…yes.” Taryn almost whispered into the phone. Bailey prayed that nothing would happen before she got there. This had to end. She couldn’t do this again.
Blake drove them quickly through town. Bailey’s head was swimming with past scenarios. This was one of those times that Marty wouldn’t be remorseful for being a jackass. He was out to cause pain and it scared the heck out of her.
“She is going to be fine. We just need to talk to him and see about getting Taryn out of there.” Blake spoke methodically and calmly. She even had to look at his profile, because she couldn’t believe he wasn’t as worried as she was. A muscle ticked in his cheek as he tightened his jaw. Blake was angry and she felt some comfort in that.
“I have been through this before. What makes you think that he will let Taryn leave willingly?” Bailey was nearly shouting and she closed her mouth tightly. A couple of angry tears spilled down her cheeks and she stared straight ahead out the windshield of the truck.
“We have to convince him that it is in his best interest.” Blake spoke while he dug his phone out of his pocket. He looked down once to punch a button and then put it on speaker. It rang four times before it was picked up. Bailey wondered who it could be.
“Hello?” Matt’s voice was good to hear and Bailey tightened her hands in her lap.
“Matt, it’s Blake. We are headed to Bailey’s house. Her dad is
home tearing things apart and we need to get her sister out of there…today!” Blake made sure to stress the exact timing of removal and she was thankful for his directives.
“My lawyer hasn’t been able to find the aunt yet, but I would call the sheriff. He would have to take Taryn out of the house and temporarily house her somewhere until something can be figured out. I wish I had more advice for you, but I don’t.” Matt’s voice was hesitant and Bailey knew he felt badly. It was an impossible situation and one that would keep shattering lives if someone didn’t step up.
“Matt, could you give the sheriff a call? I don’t know how Marty will take us interfering and I wouldn’t be surprised if he has weapons in the house.” Bailey trembled as she spoke, but her voice was clear. They were only minutes away from the house.
“I’m on it. Be careful, you two.” Matt hung up and the truck’s cab was horribly quiet, except for the crunching of the tires on the dirt road. Her nightmare was always the same. Marty was the man she could never get away from no matter how far she ran. He always pulled her back into the toxic web with the threats to her sister.
Please, Lord, today it has to end.
She hesitated to think it had to end one way or another, but there was no telling how this was going to go. She only hoped no one she loved would be hurt.
The house came into view as they drove over the rise. Her gut literally felt like they were knotted furiously and only continued to get worse. She felt ill. Sweat started to run down her back and her sanity was slowly ebbing away.